Saturday 27 April 2024

Going there part 1. Thoughts on recent events in the Turner Syndrome Society of America

I had been aware that the Turner Syndrome Society of the USA had set up a group for ‘Males with Turner Syndrome’ and changed the definition of Turner Syndrome to include males. This was not without controversy and caused a lot of debate and upset. They subsequently added this to their faq age

FAQ | Turner Syndrome

’ TS experts say males should not be diagnosed with TS but rather use their karyotype as the diagnosis. Some individuals missing their X chromosome also have both male and female organs. We are aware that doctors diagnose those individuals with Turner syndrome. Our organization does our best to accept, support and respect anyone touched by TS.

I will return to just how dangerous this paragraph is

This was not due to gender Ideology per se but to a group of mothers with boys who have had apparently had it confirmed they have an XO karyotype. In my experience these women have been problematic in spaces which are for women and families with Turner Syndrome and their behaviour toward women with Turner Syndrome can be very questionable at best .

I strongly suspect that at least one of these individuals has been appointed to a position of influence and power in the Turner Syndrome Society of the United States. All it takes is a couple of individuals to capture a group.

Before I go any further, I want to say that that any boy or man who has been found to have an XO karyotype has my full empathy and I hope they get the support and medical support they require. It would actually be more help to them for the medical community to give their specific condition its own name and definition, which would include a definition of what specific health impacts they may face. This will firstly help medic explore what health needs these men and boys have, and help address and monitor them. It will also allow these men and boys to know they are fully male. I am actually in contact with the parent of one such boy and they are conscientious and respectful of the needs of their son and of women and girls with Turner Syndrome.

Perhaps the best thing these parents can campaign for is to get a name for this particular DSD and to set up their own groups. Apart from anything else it will make it easier to find each other and organize .

There are at least two serious reasons why saying males can have Turner Syndrome is dangerous and inaccurate. Firstly Turner Syndrome specifically describes a condition that affects the female reproductive system and we face specific health issues such as bone density issues because we developed as females in utero. There is a reason we are usually seen at gynaecology departments/ women’s health centres- at least here in the UK. Saying males are affected by Turner Syndrome makes it more difficult to name the fact that some of the health issues we face arise out of our female bodies and that we need to be aware of the gynaecological issues we face. Thankfully the medical community continues to know it is a female specific condition

Secondly the statement ‘Some individuals missing their X chromosome also have both male and female organs’ is both incredibly ignorant and dangerous. This is completely untrue and medically/biologically impossible. There has not been ONE recorded case in medical literature of anyone with Turner Syndrome having both male and female secondary characteristics. This both others and misrepresents our bodies. And as for ‘We are aware that doctors diagnose those individuals with Turner syndrome’- this is complete lie as current medical practice and literature shows. It is difficult enough trying to deal with the fact that Differences of Sexual Differences (DSDS)/ Congenital Reproductive disorders which are always sex specific are being portrayed in social media discourse by some as being ‘between male and femal#’ or as forms of hermaphrodism. This applies not only to conditions like Turner Syndrome but others like Klinefelter Syndrome, MRKH and CAIS. I have seen this too many times on Twitter, It makes the lives of all of us with DSDs/ Congenital Reproductive Disorders (CRDs) more difficult and makes it more difficult to challenge ignorance about what these conditions involve. I don’t know who wrote this paragraph but they really do not know what Turner Syndrome actually involves. It perpetuates dangerous myths

Just to add – there are papers on ‘male Turner Syndrome’ but these date from the 1940s- eariy 1960s and stop within a few years after the 1959 Lancet paper that showed Turner Syndrome was caused by a missing 46th chromosomes

Finally, this is a dangerous statement because it shows a complete lack of sensitivity and understanding of the struggle every woman and girl living with Turner Syndrome to accept themselves as female or at the very least ‘female enough’. This phenomenon is well recorded in medical literature and in discussions amongst women and girls with Turner Syndrome. Any organisation concerned with Turner Syndrome should be aware of this and sensitive to this. This is especially important in the current climate with the debates around sex and gender. We are not an ‘additional’ sex (as some argue on Twitter;’. We do not shiw that ‘sex is a spectrum’ or ‘Biologically Non Binary’ (another argument I have seen on social media)– we are females with a DSD/CRD.

When I challenged the Turner Syndrome Society of the United States about their actions on a post in a Turner Syndrome group, I had a very concerning response, And individual claiming to be a hermaphrodite responded saying not only did they have Turner Syndrome and have both female and male secondary sex characteristics (specifically gonads) but the son they gave birth had both male and female gonads too. Firstly this is physically impossible (true Ovotestes Syndrome affects around 500 individuals worldwide and they are infertile). Secondly I strongly suspect this individual is an ‘Interfaker’. Sadly ‘Interfakers’ or people who claim to being either ‘Intersex' or to have a specific DSD/CRD inspite of not actually having one. As an aside this is why it is importnat to ensure the integriy of spaces for people with specific DSDS/CRDS and their families.

Both the Turner Syndrome Foundation and Turner Syndrome Global Alliance stress that Turner Syndrome is a female condition of their information pages and correctly say that Turner Syndrome affects 1 in 2000 females. It isn’t that difficult

Here is the National Health Service definition of Turner Syndrome. At all points it makes clear Turner Syndrome is a female condition. For this I am incredibly grateful (as myself and many of my friends with Turner Syndrome receive our care through the NHS!

Turner syndrome - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

One of the main priorities of any medical support group should be to ensure they give accurate and up to date medical imformation and do not perpetuate inaccuracies and myths about the medical conditio. They should alos centre the needs of those who ae genuninely impacted by the medical condition, not just medical but social, psychological and emotional.This is not ahppening here

Saturday 2 March 2024

Thoughts on ‘Chaterhouse Warren Woman’ or we were always here- just not in the way you think

In January this year a paper revealed that researchers at the Francis Crick Institute (working alongside colleagues at the University of Oxford, University of York and Oxford Archeology) had identified the oldest known remains of a woman with Turner Syndrome from around 2500 years ago in Charterhouse Warren, Somerset (and I am going to call her a woman, not an ‘individual’ as she was female). The report also discussed the discovery of three men with Klinefelter Syndrome and a person with Downs Syndrome from different periods. First prehistoric person with Turner syndrome identified from ancient DNA | Crick

Having read more about this discovery, only the skull of this young woman was discovered. She showed signs of Anaemia/ malnutrition- cribra orbitalia (as many people did in this time). She was around 18-22 years old when she died, which is even younger than the life expectancy of 25 years in Iron Age Britain. She apparently had not undergone menarche even though she had mosaic Turner Syndrome.

You can see the skull here An individual with mosaic Turner syndrome from Iron Age Somerset, UK a... | Download Scientific Diagram (researchgate.net)

Many of us with Turner Syndrome found this discovery fascinating and could not help but think about what this young woman’s life would have been like. One of the\ main things that stuck us was how what sort of quality of life she would have had with no medical treatment available. Firstly, it is important to note that of course life in Britain was very different in this period. The average life span was 25 years, testifying to the difficult nature of life and the fact that medical conditions and diseases/infections that are simple to treat today could be frequently fatal and that malnutrition was part of life.

This young woman most probably has recurrent ear infections throughout her life. Did she have any other health issues such as hypothyroidism, odema, kidney issues and any of the issues that affect us as women and girls with Turner Syndrome? Was her eyesight affected? Did this young woman have the cardiac issues associated with Turner Syndrome? How did the cognitive and spatial issues some women with Turner Syndrome have to deal with affect her life? Did she have coeliac disease (contributing to her malnutrition/Anaemia? Did the fact she had this health issue contribute to the fact she did not go through puberty? We have no indication of how she died. Did any of the health issues connected to Turner Syndrome play a role in her short life span?

Did this young woman ever wonder why her body wasn’t developing? Did she ever cry or get distressed about this? Did she face stigma and rejection because of this? She was at least buried with other people, indicating she was accepted as part of her society. She was not seen as holding a special role because she had a DSD and as far as the evidence indicates she was not an outcast.

But we have no other evidence about this young woman’s life apart from her skull. No objects were found with her remains – probably because the only thing she owned were the clothes she wore. We don’t even have any other part of her body which would have told its own story about her life and impact of Turner Syndrome and possibly her death.

We still know so little about the life of ordinary people in Iron Age Britain. We know that life was very communal and tribal. It was also hierarchical, and this young woman would not have much status. We are still finding out new things about Iron Age society, particularly about the role women played. We are still making discoveries about the roles women could play in this society. We will never fully understand what life was like for people who lived in Britain at this time. But most importantly people in Iron Age Britain would have little or no concept of what we term ‘gender’. And whatever they may have believed about sex roles, these are from a very different time and do not justify or uphold any modern beliefs. After all this is a society that probably practiced slavery and human sacrifice!

The nearest we can possibly get to understanding what she may have felt could possibly be indicated by the reports of the various mental health issues (depression, feelings of lack of self-worth) that Henry Turner found in the eight women with the DSD that bears his name in his original 1938 paper. Like this young woman, they were offered up as objects of scientific /medical interest.

Moreover and more importantly we cannot project a very particular late twentieth /early twenty first century ideology (which many people have concerns and issues with) which this project is explicitly trying to do.

It is so concerning that in the Nature paper which reported this used terms such as ‘Non binary sex’ People with DSDs, and our lives are not an ideological tool or ‘gotcha’ to be used by researchers who know nothing about the actual reality of living with these conditions. They don’t consider the impact of being used on this way or the difficulties they are creating for us.

Indeed the researchers had to admit that there was nothing out of the ordinary about the way the individuals with DSDs they analysed were treated and that ‘ they seem to have been part of their societies.” as Kyriaki Anastasiadou put it, She is so close to getting it while not getting that people with DSDs are no some ‘other’. She also said ‘It’s quite interesting to think that these people existed throughout human history’- I can’t help but feel patronised and a little troubled by these words. The existence of this young woman is not ‘quite interesting’. Why should the existence of individuals with specific conditions (with special reference to DSDs) be even remarkable? I agree it is remarkable and deeply moving to have found a woman with Turner Syndrome from over two millennia ago. The fact she made it to early adulthood, let alone be born is in and of itself remarkable (there is a 99% rate of miscarriage for Turner Syndrome in utero and apparently 15% of confirmed pregnancies that end in miscarriage are due to Turner Syndrome). I find it deeply moving this young woman managed against all the odds to live even to the age she got to.

So yes. Women and girls with Turner Syndrome have always been here, as have men and boys with Klinefelter Syndrome and people with DSDs generally. Our lives were only remarkable in in how unremarkable they were. We exist and the only thing our existence proves is that individuals with DSDs exist. As have all genetic conditions So yes, celebrate and proclaim this.

Sunday 2 April 2023

Some thoughts- April 2023

This is just some thoughts I need to share

As well as my medical treatment as a teenager I had to deal with a traumatic experience when I was 12 (if anyone wants me to elaborate- contact me)- for years I kept it to myself until I had what I recognise as a breakdown when I was around 14.

When I was in my latish 30’s (ie around time I set up this blog)I started getting interested in radical feminism. Its been a long journey but this is a journey which has been vitally important to me .

Rather than victim blaming me, dismissing what had happened to me or not wanting to discuss my experiences, Radical feminism and other feminists let me know that my feelings matter and are valid and I have a right to discuss and name what happened to ne. Radical feminism and other feminists showed me that millions of women and girls have had to deal with such behaviour and there is a power in naming and calling out male sexual and physical violence.

Radical feminism and other feminists never shamed me or made me feel less for my decision to remain single and to not (apart from one notable exception) engage in relationships with men. It actually affirmed and supported my decision.

When I was being subjected to misogynistic bullying in the workplace, rather than merely telling me to ‘keep my chin up’ Radical feminism helped me understand what was happening and gave me the strength to get through it.

Radical feminism gave me a space to connect with other women and heal and to show solidarity with women in far, far worse situations.

Radical feminism is helping to heal me, rather than silence and dismiss my experiences and those of other women and girls.

I actually feel more anger on behalf of other women who do far, far more than me who have to deal with a regular torrent of abuse and smears and misogynistic bullying. They show much grace.

There are so many inspiring, courageous feminist activists out there, from so many different backgrounds and countries. They deserve nothing but love and solidarity. And also some wonderful men truly respect and understand women.

I am just so tired of seeing other women getting no platformed, loosing their jobs or opportunities, being harassed and smeared, victim blamed and subjected to threats and even physically attacked in the name of ‘inclusivity’

I am tired of seeing women’s meetings being harassed, intimated and shut down. I am tired of those who attend such meetings being subjected to abuse. There is no ‘both sides are as bad as each other’. The call to ‘be kind’ is being addressed at those who are being attacked.

Saturday 25 September 2021

A personal account of some events....

This is a difficult post to write and I know it may cause controversy. But the events I have about to discuss have deeply traumatic for me. I feel it is important for me to discuss them.

In late 2018, a friend of mine who also has Turner Syndrome made me aware that on a facebook forum run under the auspices of a support group that parents were posting intimate details about their daughter’s puberty. This forum had at least several hundred members. I shared her concerns about these posts for a variety of reasons.

1. As people say- The Internet is forever. This information could be found and used against these girls at some later point. This is a particular issue (which I will elaborate on) especially as it is not the girls themselves posting this information.

2. While the forum was supposed to be open to only those affected by Turner Syndrome, we are all aware of issues around catfishing. It had a large membership so hundreds of people would have seen this post.

3. Most importantly young women with Turner Syndrome have the right not to have their sexual development and bodies discussed by others with no connection to them , especially by strangers on a public forum. It is just incredibly inappropriate. Firstly, It sends the message our bodies, particularly our sex characteristics are ‘not normal’. Secondly it sends the message that our bodies, especially our sex characteristics are fair game for discussion and judgement by strangers and we have no right to have our privacy respected. Thirdly it sends the message that our bodies, especially our sex characteristics are not ours but are controlled by others – namely parents and medics.

These are all incredibly dangerous messages to send, especially to young women at a vulnerable time.

We rightfully understand issues about safeguarding and not sharing sensitive information about minors online. My friend and myself tried to respectfully raise the issue of how appropriate these types of posts are on a public forum, even if it is closed. Even if the membership of the particular forum was only women with Turner Syndrome and parents of girls /teenagers with Turner Syndrome all the issues I have discussed remain. We made the suggestion that parents who have such questions should either contact te support group directly via DM or email. This would allow them to get support while respecting their daughter's privacy.

But the head of the support group argued that these posts were appropriate.

Which brings me to my final issue. These type of posts were deeply triggering to me as a woman with Turner Syndrome who had to deal with deeply inappropriate treatment from my endocrinologist as a teenager. I have discussed this previously but just to recap. Into my mid teens my middle aged male endocrinologist would examine intimate parts of my body and say things like ‘coming along nicely’. He did this once in front of a class of students. This endocrinologist remains a highly respected and influential figure.

As I have said before I am willing to accept there may have been no malice in my endocrinologist’s intentions. But it was at best deeply inappropriate. It has left issues of trauma and feeling disconnected from myself as a woman. It could be argued to be a form of abuse. I tried raising the issue of the long term of what happened to me with my Turner Syndrome clinic and the hospital I received treatment at back in late 2014. I send an email to the doctor who headed the clinic at the point (who I think is a genuinely good person who has the best interests of women with Turner Syndrome at heart). These however came to nothing.

https://aturnersyndromefeminist.tumblr.com/post/104773636206/update-on-raising-issue-of-my-treatment-as-a

There is a long and inglorious history of the bodies of women with Turner Syndrome being paraded in medical literature in photos going back to Henry Turner’s original paper in 1938 . In my discussion with my specialist back in early 2015 he raised the issue of the use of medical photos of women and girls being problematic and that women affected had a right to an apology (just to note – he is not the endocrinologist who treated me as a teenager and shows he understands issues of privacy and appropriate medical conduct). It also has to noted the behaviour of some male medical professionals toward women and girls with Turner Syndrome needs examining (and I am looking right back to Henry Turner himself – I wanted to cry when I read his paper when he explained the examinations he performed).

https://aturnersyndromefeminist.tumblr.com/post/108189371456/medical-photos

I am far from the only woman with Turner Syndrome who has had to face this issue.

Which brings us to November 2018. My friend flagged up that another type of these posts had appeared on the forum. I posted a comment explaining my concerns about such posts and that the privacy of the girl involved and her right to have ownership of her body needed to be respected. To illustrate this I explained what had happened to me and the long term impact it had. I tried to be respectful.

To which the head of the support group responded that what happened to me occurred a long time ago and no longer happened.

There was no word of sympathy or compassion.

I cannot begin to explain how such a response made me feel. But just some points why this was an appalling response.

Firstly when someone explains that they have been subjected to such behaviour you do NOT belittle how this made them feel.

Secondly there is no time limit on the impact this type of behaviour has on someone who was subjected to it.

Thirdly we are beginning to understand that not holding men who behave in abusive ways accountable damages society and particularly traumatises victims of abuse.

I feel completely unsupported by the support group that is supposed for be for those affected by Turner Syndrome (be they women, teenagers, girls, parents, partners). Worse than that, I feel they actually see me a problem for raising this issue.

I wrote a post explaining my pain at the response I received and contacted the society to end my membership and also to explain why the response was so hurtful. But they still held to their position that I was wrong and that they hoped I ‘find peace’. This is a particularly condensending and actually victim blaming response as it makes the reaction of the person to what has been done to them the problem, not what was done to them.

A medical support group is supposed to be there for those who affected by their medical issue. This includes understanding all the historical issues that people with these medical conditions have faced and understanding issues of trauma. It should listen and support people who have gone through traumatic treatments and uphold them. This support group completely failed in this. What is more myself and my friends were completely written off and we were accused of not ‘keeping to the ethos’ of the group. It was made very our voices and experiences as women with Turner Syndrome were not respected or valued.

I got some lovely supportive messages from friends with Turner Syndrome after this incident. I am grateful for this.

The impact of Turner syndrome goes far beyond the medical issues that it can cause. It can have profound psychological imapct. Any group that claims to support those with Turner Syndrome needs to show sensitivity to this and to properly engage with us respectfully and take our experiences into account.

Over the last couple of years I have been connecting with people with other Differences/Variations of Sexual Development such as PAIS, MRKH and Klinefelter Syndrome. This has helped me put my own experiences in context and see that the issues women and girls with Turner Syndrome face are part of a larger issue and why educating both medical professionals and society generally are important.

Tuesday 28 July 2020

OK Karen- Karen Hill and the reality of Goodfellas

Goodfellas is one of my favourite films of all time for a variety of reasons. But over recent years I have come to realise that the portrayal of Karen Hill and Lorraine Bracco’s performance and joint narration of the film are one of the reasons I keep returning to it. It is a rarity in the gangster film genre that a female character is afforded such a central role and even more rare that we get to be privy to how they feel. Indeed it is interesting to compare this to Scorsese’s subsequent gangster films like ‘Casino’ and especially ‘The Irishman’ that caused controversy for it’s lack of female representation. However ‘Goodfellas’ is based on a true story and involves real people. The (apparently) actual story of Karen Hill casts a very different light on the events portrayed in the film. So while the majority of this essay will look at Karen Hill as portrayed in the film, the final part will address how the film diverges (apparently) from some significant parts of her story.

We first meet Karen in the 1963 section when Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) is already at 21 firmly established in the mafia life working for Paul "Paulie" Cicero (Paul Sorvino). Henry meets her on a double date he has been reluctantly talked into by Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci). Henry’s rude behaviour on this date initially is off putting to Karen and he stands her up on the subsequent double date, enraging her. This is the point where Karen is also introduced as a narrator. We get to hear how she feels about the events she was involved with throughout the film. She looks back almost wryly at these first two encounters with Henry in her narration. Karen proves that she is not a woman to be trifled with as she gets Tommy to help her find Henry so she can give him a piece of her mind. We then switch back to Henry’s narration. Rather than be annoyed by Karen’s behaviour he is struck by how attractive she is (he compares her eyes to Elizabeth Taylor’s) and their argument turns into a mutual flirtation and he promises to take her on a proper date. The song on the soundtrack is Chariot by Betty Curtis. The most famous version of this song is the English language version ‘I will follow him’ by Peggy March. Ironically Karen has indeed followed Henry just to yell at him. But more seriously Karen will end up following Henry ‘wherever he may go’ (as the song goes) – be it through infidelity, to prison or into the drug trade, as a result of this encounter. As the song continues ‘He (Henry) is my destiny’ for Karen. Possibly Henry was also impressed Karen was the sort of woman who would stand up for herself and who knew her own mind. As the film progresses Henry will come to see that this is both a significant asset and liability in a Mafia wife.

Karen comes from a middle-class Jewish background. Like her we experience Henry’s world from the perspective of an outsider seeing both its attraction and danger. As someone from a different background Karen will several times misunderstand or disregard the rules that Mafia wives are expected to live by with significant impact for Henry over the years.

It is worth noting that over the course of the four ‘dates’ Karen’s dress and hair become more sophisticated indicating her maturing feelings toward Henry On the first ‘date’ she is dressed in blue with a cardigan, which reflects her coldness toward Henry. On the second date she is dressed in red indicating her anger at Henry standing her up. On the third date she is dressed in a floral dress and cardigan indicating her blooming feelings. On the fourth date (at the Copacabana) she is dressed in a black dress suggesting the maturation of her feelings is complete.

Karen gets an insight into Henry's world in the famous scene where he leads her through the Copacabana club. The soundtrack ‘Then he kissed me’ by the Crystals tells of a nascent relationship which ends in marriage echoing the situation between Henry and Karen. Henry and Karen’s courtship progresses with Karen gradually beginning to pick up clues that Henry does not simply make his living in ‘construction’. We get to experience the excitement and romanticism of this courtship through the soundtrack and camerawork. Karen is shown to enjoy the perks that come with being with Henry and to be impressed by his apparent maturity and connections. Like Karen the audience is seduced by the apparent glamour of Henry’s lifestyle. Matters come to a head when Karen is sexually assaulted by a neighbour Bruce. Henry decides to avenge her by pistol whipping Bruce. It is interesting this is the first act of violence we as an audience actually see Henry perform. It is not against a fellow mobster but someone who has hurt someone he is close to. This is an early indicator that while Henry is a committed gangster he has bonds outside the mafia which have their own requirements which may be in opposition to what his mob ‘family’ want. He gives Karen the bloodied gun to hide. This leaves Karen in no doubt about Henry’s criminal background and what he is capable of. But rather than being repulsed her narration relates ‘I got to admit the truth- it turned me on.’

This seals Karen and Henry’s relationship and the next scene is of their Jewish wedding ceremony. Karen’s narration discusses how she was introduced to Henry’s ‘family’ at their wedding. She jokes about being introduced to countless Marie’s, Peters and Pauls and how disorientating this was. The camerawork and soundtrack of the Harptone's ‘Life is but a dream’ re-enforces the dreamlike nature of the scene. The words ‘My life, my love’ repeat over the scene confirm that with marrying Henry Karen has entered a very different way of life.

We get a clue as to why Karen chose to marry Henry in the following scenes between her and her parents when Henry fails to come home from a night with his gang friends. Her mother berates her for not knowing where Henry is but Karen angrily accuses her of controlling her father’s life and not understanding (or indeed caring) how she feels. Karen did not want to replicate her parent’s relationship with her mother domineering her father. She has chosen Henry because he has shown himself to be independent and go getting. She also wants to move beyond the confines of the respectable world she has known. Karen’s mother asks if she knows what sort of person Henry and his friends really are and there is a lot of truth in this. When I asked Lorraine Bracco about her feelings about Karen at a BFI Q and A about the film a few years ago she said she felt Karen marrying Henry was an act of rebellion, and that she felt she had to stand by it even if it meant spending almost twenty five years married to a mafia member. It is worth noting Karen was only nineteen when she married Henry and had only known him four months- it is arguable whether she truly understood what she was getting herself into.

The scene of Mickey Conway’s (Julie Garfield) hostess party is a further baptism into life as a mafia wife for Karen (‘We weren’t married to nine to five guys but the first time I realised how different was when Mickey [Conway] had a hostess party’). She expresses her horror at how badly dressed the other mafia wives are, their heavy make-up and how ‘beat up’ they look (this could both mean how worn out they look but also that they bear signs of domestic violence), the casual violence they say they dole out to their children and how they complain about their domestic woes. Karen is physically separated from the other wives in this scene and chats with the beautician Rosie (Ileana Douglas) who like her is a young Jewish woman, sharing with her incredulous looks at what they are overhearing. The mafia wives in this scene are all middle aged with craggy faces and frumpy clothing. Scorsese shows them as slightly ridiculous hags with exaggerated facial expressions (note in particular the women who complains of being sexually harassed with her prominent facial mole). This is in sharp contrast to the manner that the male gangsters are portrayed earlier with their smart suits, bonhomie and self-possession. One woman even has her face half covered in a blue cosmetic emphasising that there is something ridiculous about her. We also do not get introduced to these women individually as we are with Henry’s associates with their colourful names- they are just a bunch of women (although one of them is Frankie Carbone’s wife). This indicates that Karen did not become close to any of these women bar Mickey (and even then this is a semi forced friendship). Mickey relates the misfortunes of a woman called Jeannie, who as well as having a husband in prison is dealing with her son being arrested for murder (which caused her mother to die of a heart attack). The other women lap up this tale of woe (while ostensibly sympathising with Jeannie) but it horrifies Karen. The soundtrack of this scene is the Shangri La’s ‘The leader of the pack’ which tells of a girl who falls in love with a ‘bad boy’ against parental approval only for it to end in tragedy. The words ‘Look out, look out look out!’ from the track are emphasised over a shot of Karen’s eyes expressing her concern at the world she has gotten herself involved in.

Karen discusses her concerns with Henry that night. He tries to laugh them off. Karen expresses particular concern over the possibility that Henry may go to prison like Jeannie’s husband. Henry jokes that Jeannie’s husband deliberately got caught so he could get away from her. He says that no gangster gets caught unless he wants to. These words are particularly interesting given later events when Henry does indeed get caught and imprisoned. Henry finally silences Karen’s concerns by initiating sex and we hear Karen justify Henry and his friends activities (‘ After a while It all got to be all normal- none of it seemed like crime’) over a love scene emphasising ,somewhat unsubtly, how seduced Karen has become by Henry’s words and life style.

It is interesting to compare how Karen justifies Henry and his associate’s criminal behaviour as just ‘cutting corners’ and ‘being enterprising’ against Henry’s justifications of his life style earlier in the film where he says to live any other way was ‘crazy’ and those who went out to work 9-5 were ‘dead’. There is more of a focus in Karen’s mind on the fact that Henry and his friends are domestic providers and that somehow as ‘blue collar guys’ they are only involved in crime as other avenues have been denied them. There is a certain amount of delusion about what activities (like protection rackets and loan sharkism) they are actually involved with rather like Henry only allows us to see him and his associates indulging in apparently harmless (and usually consensual) truck hijacking and a heist that did not even involve drawing a gun.

Karen continues her narration over a scene of Tommy performing a truck hijacking saying ‘We were all very close- there were never any outsiders around.’ emphasises the particular sort of social control the Mafia uses. People must be kept within the sphere of control and influence to ensure silence and cooperation. We see a couple of policemen turn up at Henry and Karen’s home to search it. We see from the look on Karen’s face this is not the first time this has happened and is something she is resigned to and her narration confirms this. She then discusses how herself and Henry would only usually socialise with other mobsters families like Jimmy and his wife Mickey. We then see a photo montage of Karen’s life with Henry and his friends. This could be argued to be a form of coercive control as Karen is expected to socialise almost exclusively with Henry’s associates.

We then do not see Karen again until the storyline about Henry’s relationship with Janice Rossi. Henry’s fellow gangsters all have mistresses (‘Saturday night was for wives but Friday night at the Copa was always for the girlfriends’) and their model of hypermasculinity dictates that they be sexually active outside of marriage. Indeed there is the practice in the Mafia of the ‘Goomah’ or mistress which the series ‘The Sopranos’ explored. As someone born outside the Italian/Sicilian American community, Karen was both not familiar with this practice and not willing to accept it. She first confronts Henry leading to him throwing a lamp at her along with some gaslighting (‘It’s all in your mind’). She angrily confronts Janice over the intercom to Janice’s building. She then threatens Henry with a gun while he is sleeping. This is the second scene where a gun plays a significant role in their relationship. We see Karen tremble and that she cannot bring herself to harm him (‘I was still very attracted to him’). Karen is not ‘masculine’ enough to fire the gun. When Henry eventually cajoles Karen into giving him the gun he angrily pins her down and points the gun at her in retaliation. Again this is one of the few times Henry is physically violent in the film and this time it is toward Karen. He walks out on her almost leading to the end of their marriage

However Henry’s fellow gangsters are not keen on Henry ending his marriage. In a later scene Paulie and Jimmy tell Henry he has go back to Karen and woo her again while affirming he can do what he likes outside the marriage. No doubt Karen has had a word with them both about the situation to persuade them to get Henry to return. But Paulie and Jimmy’s main concern is that if Henry abandons Karen, she will take her revenge by telling the authorities about his and his associates activities. Once within Mafia circles no one can be permitted to leave for fear of what they may reveal to the authorities. So Henry and Jimmy get sent on the fateful trip to Florida which leads to Henry being imprisoned for several years. We see a tearful Karen bid Henry an affectionate goodbye before he gets taken to prison. This is interesting given Henry’s earlier words to Karen that no mafia member goes to prison unless they truly want to. Does Henry subconsciously bring about his imprisonment to have time to sort his domestic life out?

When Karen visits Henry in prison she seems more outraged to find out Janice has recently visited him than that she has put herself at risk bringing contraband and drugs into the prison. She still is not over Henry’s affair (this scene is at least a couple of years after Henry was imprisoned) . She also expresses concern that Henry’s associates, even Paulie do not want to see her and are unwilling to offer financial support. Henry explains why they cannot help her because they need to lay low due to being on probation (again Karen does not understand the rules of mafia life) and urges her to help him continue his drug business. Karen is dealing with the hard reality that being a mafia wife does not guarantee a steady income and comfortable lifestyle. She wears a long heavy coat to conceal the contraband which could symbolise the weight of what she is dealing with. She also tells Henry she constantly writes to the parole board to try and get him released. Karen shows that she is willing to assist Henry in his criminal activities, and not just be a passive party in the relationship.

When Henry is released after several years, Karen is waiting for him on release. Her light clothes and short hair almost indicate her relief at Henry’s release and that this will be a new start or them as a couple. We get an indication of how difficult things have been for Karen when we see living conditions she and her children have been reduced to. Henry finds them a new home and sets about establishing his drug business to support them. When Henry starts a relationship with Janice’s friend Sandy, Karen probably accepts it as she sees that as far as Henry is concerned it is just a relationship of convenience as she is assisting him in cutting drugs. There is none of the emotional involvement he had with Janice. When Jimmy passes Henry his share of the Lufthansa robbery, Henry happily (but carefully) gets gifts for his family and shares the money with Karen.

Henry asks Karen to accompany him on the ‘final day’ drug deal when he meets with the Pittsburgh Connection. Tellingly Henry persuades Karen to hide the guns for the Pittsburgh connection at her parents home, not his (he has a pattern of using her parents as we will see). We see Karen ask for a drug hit (showing she also has issues with substance abuse) and get sexually harassed by the Pittsburgh connection, showing she has her own issues to deal with in Henry's drug dealing. Karen may not look as physically worn out as Henry but she shows signs of the the toll the lifestyle she is living is having on her.

When Henry is finally arrested we see Karen’s panic as she gets rid of the cocaine down the toilet. At the end of this scene she places a small gun down in her underwear (the fact she is also only dressed in underwear and dressing gown shows her vulnerability). Symbolically Karen has had to take on a male role (symbolised by the gun)

Tellingly Henry gets Karen’s parents to put up his bail, not his parents. When Karen tells him she has gotten rid of the cocaine he yells at her although this was probably the best course of action. However at the end of this scene, we see Henry and Karen lying together in a mutually supportive manner with Henry brandishing a gun in a protective manner. The order of male as protector has been re-established.

Karen begins to understand the threat to her family when she visits Jimmy to discuss Henry’s case. He tells her to help herself to some designer clothes from a warehouse but she gets spooked and leaves. While this is not the event that finally persuades Henry to go into the witness protection program it certainly contributes to his decision.

The final scene we see Karen in is when Henry agrees to go into the witness protection program Both Henry and the FBI man place emotional pressure on Karen to accept his decision to enter the witness protection programme and to accompany him. The FBI man reminds Karen that they have tapes of her helping arrange drug deals and that he has no concern about her fate, and that she is only useful as far as she makes Henry a good witness. Henry cajoles Karen to accompany him even though it means leaving her elderly parents. Karen wears a black and white polka dot dress which may indicate her lost innocence.

The closing credits tell us that Henry and Karen finally separated after 25 years of marriage they year before the film was released– they managed to stay together through infidelity, imprisonment and the witness protection program but eventually the toll of Henry’s lifestyle proved too much for Karen (the couple would only formally divorce in 2002). Karen and Henry’s children Greg and Gina would release a book ‘On the run – a mafia childhood’ in 2004 about their experiences on the witness protection program that would show that this was an incredibly difficult period of their lives (mainly because of Henry’s actions) that belies the ending of the film (there was at one point talk of a possible sequel to ‘Goodfellas’ based on Greg and Gina Hill’s book)

Lorraine Bracco gives a great performance in this film and she allows Karen to be a rounded character. We warm to her both because of an in spite of her flaws. Bracco did not get to meet Karen Hill but she clearly has sympathy with her and she remains proud of her involvement with the film (I greatly enjoyed hearing her discuss the film at the BFI a few years ago). She would earn an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actress for the role along with several other award nominations. It is worth noting Lorraine does bear an incredibly close physical resemblance to the real Karen Hill

Oh Mickey

I just want to take a quick look at the character of Mickey Conway who was played by Julie Garfield. She is Jimmy Conway’s wife and almost an opposite to Karen. She is based on Mickey Burke who was married to Jimmy Burke (the inspiration for Jimmy Conway). Jimmy and Mickey only married a couple of years before Karen and Henry but we get the impression she has been part of the mafia life for considerably longer in the film. Julie Garfield is also several years older than Lorraine Bracco which adds to this impression. Unlike Karen, Mickey’s hairstyle and fashion sense do not change over the seventeen or so years she is involved in the story, showing her to be a more conservative and settled woman in her role as a mafia wife. Karen and Mickey will spend a lot of time together over the years because of Henry and Jimmy’s friendship but as noted before it seems to be more a friendship by default. Karen discusses Mickey’s reaction to having the police constantly search her home (spitting on the floor) saying she cannot understand it and how it makes no sense to her which illustrates they have very different ways of dealing with the issues that come with being a mafia wife. The real Mickey Burke did go through some similar experiences to Karen in the film. Jimmy Burke had a mistress (actually Tommy DeSimones sister) and Mickey’s ex boyfriend who had been harassing her was found murdered around the time of her marriage to Jimmy. She had her own troubles (after all Jimmy was also in prison for several years at the same time as Henry). We see a close up on Mickey in a distressed state dressed in black and holding a handkerchief (obviously to wipe away her tears) as we hear Henry testify against Jimmy at the end. Jimmy Burke would die in prison in 1996 and one of his and Mickey’s sons would get killed in a drug deal in 1987 so the real Mickey’s woes would continue beyond the end of the film

The Sopranos factor

Of course Lorraine Bracco would go on to play Dr. Jennifer Melfi in ‘The Sopranos’. In many ways Dr. Jennifer Melfi is the opposite of Karen Hill. She is a middle-class Italian American who suddenly finds the mafia in her life in the form of Tony Soprano. Across the series she has to negotiate her feelings about Tony and his activities and keep him at a distance while trying to be his psychiatrist. Bracco was originally offered the role of Carmela Soprano but turned it down as she did not want to get typecast as playing mafia wives (Edie Falco would play Carmela). Bracco would win regular award nominations for her role as Melfi. Carmela Soprano is in herself an interesting and complex character and in all probability Bracco’s performance as Karen Hill helped path the way for the creation of the character.( Also worth noting that amusingly in one episode Melfi and her son discuss ‘Goodfellas’)

’And a lot of other things’

Now we come to where what may have actually happened and Goodfellas diverges and what light it casts on the real Karen Hill. There are a number of significant differences between ‘Goodfellas’ and actual events and the people portrayed in the film. For example Tommy DeSimone (who Tommy DeVito is based on) was several younger than Henry Hill and was married (also his body has never been found). Jimmy Burke (whom Jimmy Conway is based on) had at least one son who was also involved in the mafia and they were involved with the Lufthansa heist.

Here we come to the story of Karen Hill. She did not actually co-write ‘Wiseguys’ with Henry and Nicholas Pileggi. So the entire narration is a creation of Nicolas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese who wrote the script. Karen apparently did not actually want to be involved with the film, obviously trying to get her life back on track after the end of her marriage to Henry and several years on the witness protection program. This poses a number of issues about the ethics of the filmmakers speaking on Karen’s behalf. While it is appreciated Scorsese did go through the effort of creating a rounded female character and showing her inner life, he and Pileggi used the story of an actual woman at a vulnerable part of her life. I would hope that they at least spoke with Karen and got feedback from her when writing the script.

This is the point where we need to consider the story of Karen Hill that is in the public domain that is not in the film. Henry Hill claimed in his 2004 ook ‘Gangsters and Goodfellas’ claimed that Karen was having an affair with Paul Vario ( Paulie Cicero in Goodfellas). While Henry and Paul were imprisoned apparently Tommy DeSimone made advances toward Karen which she rejected and he attempted to rape her. She revealed this to Paul Vario and this was apparently one of the reasons he allowed Tommy’s ‘execution’ (as the film puts it ‘It was payback for Billy Batts and a lot of other things’)

Firstly to note – the ethics of someone revealing the sexual assault of another person without their consent in this way is a whole topic in itself, particularly given the relationship between Henry and Karen. We only have it on Henry’s word that Karen and Paul Vario were involved and it may be a way of detracting from his affairs. Even if true, there was large power imbalance between Henry and Paul that Karen may not have been in a position to refuse Paul or she may have gotten into the affair in order to help Henry. But if this attempted rape story is true it must have been a truly terrifying experience for Karen. It also has to be asked that if Paul Vario gave permission for the murder of Tommy DeSimone because of his behaviour toward Karen it has to be asked if it was out of affection toward her or that Tommy had ‘interfered’ with his property. I personally wonder if Henry's pistol whipping of Bruce in revenge for his attack on Karen early in the film is a subtle allusion to these events.

Henry Hill would enjoy a certain celebrity status, despite ongoing issues with drink and drugs (and continued criminal activities) appearing in several documentaries and television programmes up to his death (from natural causes) in 2012. Karen Hill has remained silent for the thirty years since ‘Goodfellas’ release. I hope wherever she is, she has managed to rebuild her life.

Monday 20 July 2020

Ten years on this blog!

Just realised that I have been running this blog for ten years - I have not really worked on it for almost five years but certainly glad to have it as an archive of me writing my experiences with Turner Syndrome and other things. I have begun posting links to some of my early posts on twitter with the hope they are useful. I was not aware of how early I was writing about and picking on certain issues. I hope it can be useful for people.

It was certainly a difficult time in my life when I began this. I also went through a lot in the following four years. I am grateful for all I have learnt through the period. I am in a lot better place and glad my life has moved on.

Thank you to anyone who follows me or who has enjoyed or commented on my posts

Thursday 9 July 2020

The Journey

Between one country and another. Between one history and another. Between one life and another.

You set out early this morning. It will be a long but good day. Every part of this day matters. After all this is as much a pilgrimage as a journey. Every part of this journey excites you from the bus to the train station, to the train, to the plane. Every bit of distance covered brings you closer to the place you love. Every part does not take long but every part makes you anxious not to be late. But every time you arrive on time. Earl Van Dyke strikes up the band as you board the train.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBcUEupowbk

You move through the airport. The scents of perfumes as JJ Barnes sings Stevie Wonder. You grab a coffee at the usual place. You wait for the flight to be called up. Look at all the people on different journeys.

You got to the gate. So many other people also travelling. Some are going home. You wish it was you doing so to. Different passports tell their stories. Board the plane. This is the worst bit- the takeoff. Your stomach lunges and you feel regret at how confined you are suddenly. But this must be accepted. Airborne finally

You try to concentrate on your book. If it is a sunny day you look out at the clouds. There is a light you only see on this journey.

You see the land. Look down at the coast line. The houses become closer. The toy cars suddenly become real. The sound of The Dells signing Terry Callier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWJuvsQJlms

The sudden speeding dance as the wheels gradually touch the ground. The speeding run as you land. Reaching under the chair. The crowded aisle. So many people. Try and get your bag. You must learn patience for this part.

Decompression as you finally exit the plane. You cannot leave the plane quickly enough. Sweet air. Feet on the ground finally.

You walk across to the building. You see the signs you are in the place you love. The signs in other languages.

The glass building allows you to look out on the land. You feel elation. Move through the airport as quickly as you can. The wonder carries you on. You don’t mind the long walk. You take in everything you are seeing

You show your passport that announces that you belong to this land to. Even the guards here are capable of kindness and humour.

All the things that are different. You check your messages. you exit the airport to get your bus.

Roy Hamilton ‘The Panic is on’ blasting out. On the top of the bus. Moving off. moving on The green green grass of another home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAMXUlVjFZY